The Naomi Campbell Award for Catwalk Stacks:
Elliot Ward-Fear might have had a brilliant collection but it was difficult to notice, so distracting were the tumbling models in his show. One could hardly blame the unbalanced beauties - the wedges Ward-Fear put them in were absolutely ridonkulous-high. I was particularly concerned for the welfare of the model who had to take a turn in the shoes whilst also wearing epaulettes embellished with long perspex spikes. Thank god she was one of the few who didn't eat shit on the runway, as there would have been all kinds of brain-impalement had she fallen the wrong way.
I'm actually kidding about not having noticed the collection - I though parts of it were quite great, but hopefully this episode will teach Ward-Fear not to go for spectacle over substance again. I noted with amusement and a little bit of annoyance that when it was time for him to walk down the runway with two of his models, he kept a bit of a distance - worried about being dragged down with them, Elliot?