Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Ou est le bibliotheque? Voila mon passport! Ah, Gerard Depardieu.

I can accept that I'm probably Objectively Wrong about Le Divorce, but I just love that movie to bits. Here are my reasons:

1. That Roxeanne (Naomi Watts) gets shit from her mother-in-law (played by the incomparable Leslie Caron) for serving grain sugar rather than the cube variety.

Who knew that was a thing? "Original!", the old bitch exclaims as she sweetens her tea. Roxie subsequently pours the stuff down the sink.

2. That Glenn Close in this movie is my old lady ideal

Fuck everybody who says women shouldn't wear their hair long after 25.

3. Isabel's (Kate Hudson) transformation from a West Coast hippie to a Parisian fashion monster. Before:

And after:

4. The food. (Note Isabel's manicured but very short nails (très chic, etc) , and her adorable die-print blouse.)

Plus this movie learned me how to correctly mix a Ricard...

... something I'll never do as that stuff is nasty.

5. That Roxeanne's plump little ballet-dancing daughter is watching The Red Shoes on TV

(though admittedly you could probably splice a bit of The Red Shoes into Deuce Bigalo: American Gigolo, and I'd still be all like, 'Oh, what magnificent art'.

6. That Isabel's old man lover, the Sarkozy-esque Uncle Edgar, gives her an Hermés Kelly bag when they begin their creepy relationship. It eventually gets flung off the Eiffel Tower.

Uncle Edgar also purchases her a Chanel scarf to mark the end of their relationship (ugh, creepy). While at the boutique he runs into Olivia (Glenn Close) who is also there buying a gift for Isabel (awesome! Not creepy!). They agree to each buy her the same scarf so that she can come back to the store and swap one for something she likes. Now isn't that most perfect thing you ever heard? It reminds me of a much-loved (by me) section in Little Women, in which it is found that Jo has stained the only pair of gloves she has to wear to the ball. Her prissy sister Margaret's gloves are clean, and they agree to each wear one of the unspoiled pair, while clasping one of the dirty (apparently an acceptable practice at the time). Easily-resolved drama ensues!

In all honesty I'd probably never recommend Le Divorce to anyone whose respect I desired. The characters are unutterably annoying and the plot is kinda weird. But if you're the kind of person who can look past fundamental flaws to appreciate the sweet little bits, maybe give it ago.


Aly said...

This has to be one of the greatest film reviews I've ever read (and I subscribe to Empire and the like!) - I am most definitely intrigued, and plan to watch Le Divorce this weekend!


Shazzy said...

You're too nice, thank you! I hope your opinion of the review doesn't change after watching the film...