Australia's Next Top Model 7, Episodes 1 & 2

Let it be known that I am suitably embarrassed by my love of this silly series - and with that out of the way, let's get on with some in-depth analysis. Episode 1 was a little overwhelming for my taste - so many faces! So many earnest yet utterly inane professions of model-y keenness!

The only bits that stuck in my mind from this episode were (firstly) the elimination of Amy, 18, from NSW:

To me she looks like some incredible Daria Werbowy 2.0. Kicked out on the first ep? The mind boggles.

Secondly, I was struck by how much Rosie, 18, from the ACT looks like the actor Ben Whishaw:

For the record, I think they both have sweet faces, though Rosie's heart didn't seem to be in the thing, so maybe it's not so bad that she was booted early on.

Soldiering on to the second episode, let me be the first to say, Lucifer's Ball Sack! Paris and couture?!!? Not gonna lie, I was thinking some pretty envious thoughts as I watched the girls writhe around in Galliano, McQueen and Saab, to name a few. Le sigh, some were just not worthy.

Jess, however, was one of the girls who seem quite at home in couture and chopines:

And everyone's saying it cuz it's true, she is absolutely Ruby Rose's double:

My current favourite (perhaps not to win but, you know, just to like) is Madeline:

And she really does look quite Eva Green:

Even though her choice of lipstick makes me want to kill myself:

Yolanda is another stunner:

At times she looks like Lily Aldridge:

and that ain't a bad thing, no diggity.

Inevitably, the two best photos came from the two dickest models, Neo and Caroline:

Neo in particular is probably one of the the most outrageously gorgeous people I've ever seen. Oh, those bitches know how to werk.